“Love, I discovered, is being still enough to feel all that is going on inside of you and then learning how to acknowledge and accept what you feel.”
Iyanla Vanzant, In The Meantime
Iyanla Vanzant, In The Meantime
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning to sail my ship.”
-Louisa May Alcott, Author of ‘Little Women’
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
-Rosa Parks, Civil Rights Pioneer
Find a man
The world is scary
Don’t go out
You are weak
Don’t care so much
They’re only animals
Don’t be so intense
Don’t cry so much
You can’t trust anyone
Don’t talk to strangers
People will take advantage of you
Close your legs
Girls aren’t good with:
Making difficult decisions
Putting things together
Being in charge.
If he rapes you, surrender,
You will get killed trying to defend yourself
Don’t travel alone
You are nothing without a man
Don’t make the first move,
Wait for him to notice you
Don’t be too loud
Follow the crowd
Obey the laws
Don’t know too much
Tone it down
Find someone rich
It’s how you look that matters,
Not what you think.
Here’s What I’m Telling You:
Everyone’s making everything up
There is no one in charge except for those
Who pretend to be
No one is coming
No one is going to
Mind-read your needs
Know your body better than you
Always fight back
Ask for it
Say you want it
Cherish your solitude
Take trains by yourself to places
You have never been
Sleep out under the stars
Learn how to drive a stick shift
Go so far away that you stop being afraid of
Not coming back
Say no when you don’t want to do something
Say yes if your instincts are strong
Even if everyone around you disagrees
Decide whether you want to be liked or admired
Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out
What you’re doing here
Believe in kissing
Fight for tenderness
Care as much as you do
Cry as much as you want
Insist the world be theater
And love the drama
Take your time
Move as fast as you do
As long as it’s your speed.
Ask yourself these questions:
Why am I whispering when I have something to say?
Why am I adding a question mark at the end
Of all my sentences?
Why am I apologizing every time I express my needs?
Why am I hunching over?
Starving myself when I love food?
Pretending it doesn’t mean that much to me?
Hurting myself when I mean to scream?
Why am I waiting
You know the truth:
Sometimes it does hurt that much
Your mother wanted more than that
It’s easier to be mean than smart
But that isn’t who you are.”
Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. You can forgive someone and still be strongly affected by their way of being. Forgiveness does not mean full acceptance of that person’s behavior nor does it mean that you have to actively engage with them. Sometimes it’s best to forgive and to love them from a distance.
-Yessy Gutierrez, Who Were You Today? (WWYT)
When you have something to do life will not allow you to move forward until you do it.
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace From Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You’re Going Through
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
-14th Dalai Lama
Love liberates, it doesn’t bind. Love says, I love you. I love if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you, I’d like to have your arms around me, I’d like to have your voice in my ear.
So many of us invest a fortune making ourselves look good to the world, yet inside we are falling apart. It’s time to invest on the inside.
― Iyanla Vanzant